I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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