a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
