I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
