Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
