Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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