In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
