But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
