Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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