3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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