I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
