Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
