I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
