spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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