i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
