I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It's just like the Real World with babies
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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