you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
