i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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