I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
