i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
