Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
