do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
