I am in a vortex of obligation.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
