Jerry, you need to find god
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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