make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
