I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
