Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
