i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
tell me about the eggs
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
