Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
