I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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