Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
