ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize