Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
did i just pee glitter
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
