You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
