i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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