I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She's the barista slut.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
