I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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