gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
