so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Are my feet made of real feet?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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