I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
