I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
