I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
