She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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