After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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