I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
