I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
