i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
