you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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