her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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