I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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