it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
