You can't motorboat a personality
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
