Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Randomize